Is it appropriate to remind others the favors to which they had been done, to rub it in?
A Brief Description of the Question:
Is it appropriate to remind others the favors to which they had been done, to rub it in?
The Answer:
The definite sign showing that financial help, charity and alms were carried out for the sake of Allah is not to expect any material interest from the person that had been helped, not to put him under an obligation, not to hurt him and to act as if nothing had happened.
"Those who spend their wealth in the cause of Allah and follow not up their gifts with reminders of their generosity or with injury,― for them their reward is with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve." (al-Baqara 2/262)
It is explained in verses and hadiths that it is a sin to remind one the favors he had been done to and that the reward of the favor would be annulled if someone did so:
"O ye who believe! Cancel not your charity by reminders of your generosity or by injury― like those who spend their substance to be seen of men, but believe neither in Allah nor in the Last Day. They are in Parable like a hard, barren rock, on which is a little soil; on it falls heavy rain, which leaves it (just) a bare stone. They will be able to do nothing with aught they have earned. And Allah guideth not those who reject faith." (al-Baqara 2/264)
The Prophet (pbuh) says,
"There are three groups of people with whom Allah would neither speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor would look at them nor would absolve the and there is a painful chastisement for them. They are the draggers of lower garment, the recounters of obligation the sellers of goods by false oath." (Muslim, Iman, 171; Abu Dawud, Libas, 25)
This attitude of some people who dare to put people under obligation when they give something away to people, to rub it in and to hurt people is likened to the attitude of those who do not believe in Allah, who spend their money to show off or to receive some material interest; if believers try to put people under obligation when they give something away to people, to rub it in and to hurt people like the unbelievers who spend their money to show off, they will be deprived of the rewards of those charities.
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