The Husband
As a Husband
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) set an example for his wives with his behavior and actions.Therefore, the head of the family should behave in the manner he expects his spouse to behave. One is reciprocated in the same manner as he acts.
We see in the way the Prophet conversed with his wives that he cared about even their relatively small problems. He pleased the family members with his words and actions which expressed his care and the value he attached to them. He also considered it important to please them spiritually. Among his many actions and behaviors which are aimed at pleasing his wives, the following can be mentioned: he told his wives their virtues, told them that he loved them, took them on his mount, bathed together with the same vessel’s water, helped his wife get on the animal by stepping on his knee, accepted dinner invitations with the condition “If my wife comes”, consoled his wife who cried being troubled by a distress and dried her tears with his hands.
In conclusion, people take Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as an example and a leader also in family relations and thus attain happiness. This is because Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Assuredly you have in Allah’s Messenger an excellent example to follow for whoever looks forward to Allah and the Last Day, and remembers and mentions Allah much.” The Qur’an, Al-Ahzab, 33:21
THIS WAS NOT WHAT WE INTENDED
A small dispute takes place between him and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). Eventually, they decide to refer the matter to an arbitrator. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) recommends Abu Bakr, the father of Aisha, as the arbitrator. Aisha consents. When Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) starts to explain the issue to Abu Bakr, his wife Aisha intervenes and warns him:
“Be just in your explanation.”
Seeing this warning as a grave disrespect towards the Prophet, Abu Bakr cannot contain himself and slaps his daughter. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) frowns and while cleaning the blood flowing from Aisha’s nose, he says with a harsh voice to Abu Bakr:
“O Abu Bakr! This was not what we intended when we appointed you an arbitrator.” [1]
OH GOD! MY WIFE
During a travel, the camel carrying Aisha runs off all of a sudden. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) sees what is happening and cries out:
“Oh God! My wife…”
He does not calm down until his friends have caught the camel and the danger has passed. [2]
YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY OFF YOUR DAUGHTER TO SOMEONE BY FORCE
One of his friends is about to give his daughter in marriage to someone she does not want to by force. The unwilling bride seeks help from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH):
“O Allah’s Messenger! My father is marrying me off to my cousin by force although I do not want to.”
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) calls for the father:
“You do not have the right to marry off your daughter to someone while she does not want to.” [3]
MY FATHER IS PROPHET AARON (PBUH)
Some people despise and annoy his wife Safiyya (may Allah be pleased with her) saying that she is “the daughter of a Jew”. She goes to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and shares her distress with him. Allah’s Messenger says:
“Look! If they say the same things, respond to them this way: ‘My husband is Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), my father is Prophet Aaron (PBUH), and my uncle is Prophet Moses (PBUH). In this case I am superior to all of you!’” [4]
NOW WE ARE EVEN
Aisha and he are newly married. They race together. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) wins. A couple of years pass. Aisha has gained weight and got a little plump. They race again. This time Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) wins. Smiling, he says:
“Now we are even.” [5]
CAN MY WIFE ALSO COME?
One of his neighbors in Medina, a Persian, invites Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) to share with him a special soup he has prepared for dinner. Implying Aisha, he says:
“Can my wife also come?” The Persian does not want her to come. And Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) does not go to the meal. After a while, the Persian comes and repeats his invitation. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) asks again:
“Together with my wife?” The Persian frowns again. A while later, the Persian repeats his invitation for the third time. However, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) does not change his attitude. He says: “My wife, too…”ThePersian has to consent this time. They drink the soup together with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).[6]
CONSOLING SAFIYYA
One of the Jewish captives of Khaybar, Safiyya, marries Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Her father and previous husband were killed by Muslims during the war. While retelling their first night, Safiyya (may Allah be pleased with her) says:
“Allah’s Messenger spent the time trying to please my heart until morning. He said: ‘What could I do, your father did not leave me in peace at all. He tried to bring all Arabs together against us’and although he was right he still apologized to me many times.” [7]
YOU ARE ALSO HER SLAVE
Ali and Fatima (may Allah be pleased with them both) are about to get married. He addresses them both advising:
“O Ali, I am giving my daughter to you as a slave, but do not forget that you are also her slave.” [8]
ARE YOU NOT SATISFIED?
Somewhere close to the mosque, black Ethiopian Muslims are playing a local game. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) remembers his wife Aisha, (may Allah be pleased with her). He goes home and says:
“Aisha, come and watch.”
Aisha tells the event:
“I put my cheek on Allah’s Messenger’s shoulder and started to watch.”
The game lasts long. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) asks now and then:
“Are you not satisfied?”
Aisha, in her own words, “in order to test his love of me”, says:
“No!”
Although Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is tired, he keeps quiet. He keeps standing, changing his posture. [9]
FROM THE PART HER MOUTH HAS TOUCHED
He pays more attention especially when eating with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). He drinks water from the part of the glass where Aisha drinks from. If they are eating meat, he takes the meat Aisha has bitten and bites it from the part her mouth has touched. He feeds Aisha with his own hands. [10]
I LOVE AISHA MOST
He is in a large group of people. One of his friends asks a question he has been curious about for a long time:
“O Allah’s Messenger! Who do you love most?”
There is no hint of shyness or complex in the answer:
“Aisha”
The same question is asked by Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) at the beginning of their marriage:
“How do you love me?”
“Like a tangled knot.”
Aisha is so pleased with the answer she got that she often repeats her question during the following years.
“O Allah’s Messenger! How about the tangled knot?”
“Like the first day!” [11]
[1]Ataullah b.Fadlullah, Ravdat’ul-Ahbab, p.360.
[2]Afzalur Rahman, Siret Ansiklopedisi, II/l26.
[3]M.Fethullah Gülen, Sonsuz Nur, I/392.
[4]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, Hz. Peygamber ve Aile Hayatı, p.210.
[5]Prof. Dr. Hüseyin Algül, Alemlere Rahmet Hazreti Muhammed, p.89.
[6]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, ibid., p.259.
[7]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi,Hayat’us-Sahaba, III/123,302.
[8]Onk. Dr. Haluk Nurbaki. Fahr-i Kainat Efendimiz, p.l02.
[9]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi, ibid., III/325.
[10]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, ibid., p.74; Bekir Sağlam, ibid., p.84.
[11]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi, ibid., III/l00; Ataullah b.Fadlullah. ibid.
[2]Afzalur Rahman, Siret Ansiklopedisi, II/l26.
[3]M.Fethullah Gülen, Sonsuz Nur, I/392.
[4]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, Hz. Peygamber ve Aile Hayatı, p.210.
[5]Prof. Dr. Hüseyin Algül, Alemlere Rahmet Hazreti Muhammed, p.89.
[6]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, ibid., p.259.
[7]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi,Hayat’us-Sahaba, III/123,302.
[8]Onk. Dr. Haluk Nurbaki. Fahr-i Kainat Efendimiz, p.l02.
[9]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi, ibid., III/325.
[10]Ed: Prof. Dr. İ. Lütfi Çakan, ibid., p.74; Bekir Sağlam, ibid., p.84.
[11]M. Yusuf Kandahlawi, ibid., III/l00; Ataullah b.Fadlullah. ibid.
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